I'm pissed as hell

.... so I don't even think this blog will make sense but it is more for me anyway.

I want to start off by saying I realize people deal with grief in different ways, but there is NO need to drag other people down with your crazy.

Secondly, I'm done. I'm tired of a certain person thinking she is better than everyone else, because she is a "highly intelligent individual". If you don't agree with what I say, great. I think you should have your own opinion. But state your point then let it go. Don't get pissed off and start belittling others because I called you out on your stupidity and insincerity.

And what the hell's with all of the delusions? How can you not remember what was said several times when we were together? Are you choosing not to remember it because you know I'm right?

And don't tell me you had to Google someone because you didn't know who it was, and you found *that* specific bit of info. You know you watched the movie.

Fuck you.

Everyone is so excited...

but I'm nervous as hell.

I think I'm excited about starting my new job in a couple of weeks, but I'm not sure. I think everyone else's excitement is rubbing off on me.

Sure, I was looking for a new job, but this happened so quickly, I haven't really had time to think about it yet. I guess.

Maybe I just got too complacent at my current place. I bitch about it a lot, and generally hate it there, but I do like most of the people I work with.

I don't like change.

But from things I've seen and heard from/ about this new place, it is going to be so much better.

I'll be fine.

You should buy this book!

Night Terrors: An Anthology of Terror, published by Blood Bound Books, is out now and you should buy it.

My story, Are you the Fairest?, is lurking somewhere in the pages of this great book.

Purchase it at Amazon. Now.

http://www.amazon.com/Night-Terrors-Anthology-Theresa-Dillon/dp/0984540806/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1273344122&sr=1-8

Why Universal Healthcare is needed.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36879046/ns/local_news-cincinnati_oh/

Mom Passes Away After Lengthy Battle With H1N1
Woman Put Off Treatment After Losing Job, Insurance

CINCINNATI - WLWT.com

Christy Bailey spent six months in the hospital undergoing treatment for complications related to H1N1, but the 26-year-old single mother has lost her fight.

"My mom has always told me that she is right by my side, even though she is not here with me," said her daughter, Kendall Bailey. "I just love her very, very much."
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Bailey became ill in October, but she had lost her job and the insurance that came with it, so she put off getting treatment for days.

In that time, the H1N1 virus severely damaged her lungs and immune system, and Bailey died overnight the intensive care unit of University Hospital.

Doctors told Bailey's family that she would not likely survive her latest setback, and she was hooked up to oxygen and a feeding tube before her death.

"The nurse told us yesterday, if she lives through the weekend that they would be surprised," said Bailey's mother, Verna Jackson.

Her family made funeral arrangements as they prepared for the worst, but they remained hopeful, as Bailey had briefly recovered from a similarly grim prognosis in March.

"Christina is a really strong person and she's been sick for a long time, and she's gotten through it and gotten this far, so we just keep taking care of her the best that we can," said nurse Betsy Linz.

Bailey's daughter, who carries her photo with her every day to school, kept a journal of the things she'd like to do with her mom if she had been able to leave the hospital.

"Go to the pumpkin patch, go to Florida and walk on the beach," Kendall said.

Kendall's friends and teachers held a car wash Saturday intended to help the family pay some of their mounting expenses, but those proceeds will now go to pay for Bailey's funeral.

"We are just hoping for a big turnout to support this wonderful family and this super child," said teacher Lisa Schulte.

The car wash will be held rain or shine from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Advance Auto Parts on Main Street in Hamilton.

Donations may also be made at Fifth Third Bank.

If you see a smile on my face, DO NOT be alarmed.

I am happy.

For once. Seems like that is a rare thing for me anymore. I mean, there have always been aspects of my life I have been happy with- my marriage, my family- but for the most part, I have been miserable for years.

And I'm not on medication. I don't need it for the moment... at least not for that.

Two months ago, I didn't care about anything, let alone if I was alive or dead. I was very seriously considering suicide.

What's with the sudden change?

I have NO fucking clue. I've recently changed several things, so maybe it's just the combination.

I'm going out more. I haven't done that in ages. I might not want to do it, but I forcing myself to move, and once I'm there, I have a ball.

I transferred. Of course, the kids still annoy me sometimes, but I'm am really enjoying my job again. And I can't tell you the last time I ever said that.... if I EVER have. Sure, I'd rather not have to work... but where I am now is a shitload better than where I was a month and a half ago.

I'm slowly changing of I'm eating and trying to lose weight. Since the middle of Feburary, I apparently lost 20 pounds... and didn't know it. Yeah, I was annoyed at first, because I realized that I am such a beast that I didn't realize I was 20 pounds lighter, but then again... I LOST 20 POUNDS. I don't know if I even lost that much when I played basketball in high school. And I've just started Zumba (about a week and a half in), and I swear it's going to kill me, but I like doing it. Me? Enjoy exercise? Who is this person talking? I've lost an additional 5 pounds since last Monday. It's not great, and I'm not doing the Zumba as much as I should be, but I know that it'll be slow going. But I'm going to give it a shot.

I have more energy and I have been sleeping a little better too.

Yeah, every day things still piss me off. But, why waste time complaining about it? There's hockey to go to, Mummies to dance to,, stuff to write, swimming soon, my hubby to love...

I'm a completely different person.

And I think I like me this way.

I hate being a woman.

Why don't women have any self respect for themselves? Why do they have to act like hoes to get anything/ everything, or for no reason at all, other than thinking they're cute? Why do guys fall for it, even if they know the girl isn't interested? She'll bail as soon as she gets what she wants. Guess that works out for the guy too. It's a use/ use situation.

No, I'm not gorgeous, hot, pretty, whatever, but I'm smart. And I'd rather be known for my brains than how much I put out.

Double standards

Okay... so I generally don't really care about gossip mags, etc. but I happened across this article, and since I was already in a bad mood, I just got more pissed off.


http://omg.yahoo.com/news/barbara-walters-shows-gagas-same-sex-kiss-but-not-lamberts/32504

Barbara Walters Shows Gaga's Same-Sex Kiss - But Not Lambert's


LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Adam Lambert's controversial kiss at the American Music Awards continues to be kept off the airwaves.

The singer's same-sex kiss during his performance of "For Your Entertainment" at November's awards show was not televised on Barbara Walters' "The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009" special on ABC (the network that aired the AMAs) on Wednesday.

"I would do it exactly the same way," Adam told Barbara of the much-discussed performance. "Freedom of expression should be alive and well, and unfortunately, it's not."

However, Barbara did showcase a female same-sex kiss - from Lady Gaga.

The special shows a clip from Gaga's video for the track "Love Game," depicting the singer locking lips with another woman.

"I do like women. I've only been in love with men, I've never been in love with a woman," Gaga explained to Barbara. "I have certainly had sexual relationships with women, yes."

While Barbara had no issue with Gaga's kiss, she made a point of noting she wasn't going to show Lambert's, in favor of spending more time on his interview.

"The CBS Early Show" did a similar thing two weeks ago. After booking Lambert on their show (following his cancellation by ABC's "Good Morning America"), CBS blurred the male-male Lambert kiss, while not blurring a female-female kiss between Britney Spears and Madonna at the 2003 MTV "Video Music Awards."



She didn't show his kiss to "spend more time on his interview". Really? Because I think that's a lame ass excuse.


This is something that has always bothered me... the double standards of men, women, and sex.

Same sex kisses- Girls do it, and 'it's hot'. Hell, a majority of people will pay to see it done. Guys do it, and it's the foulest thing that has ever happened on the face of the Earth.

Men have sex with how ever many women they want, and they're awesome. Women do it, and their hoes/ sluts/ cum dumpsters/ insert- other- nasty- insults- here for life.

And finally, the ignorance of one of my relatives who has a son and, soon, a daughter. If her son got a girl pregnant while he was still a teenager, it wouldn't really be a problem because "he's a boy, and it wouldn't be his responsibility". Now, I always thought it took two to tango, and it was the "problem" and responsibility of both involved parties.

When I asked what would happen if her daughter came home pregnant, the response was: "I'd fucking kill her".

Ah, what a great mother those children have.